Yeehaa, I'm Country

Not being a musical man, I look in awe at people who can play instruments, sing and even write songs. A number of my friends are talented musically and have done the hard yards to make it all look easy, and it's a joy to hear them play their music and see people listen and enjoy it.

I'm pretty eclectic in my music taste, it's probably easier to say what I don't like, rather than list what I do. My 'don't like' list is pretty short: Disco, Country and 'doof-doof'. 

Now I know I've already put some people off-side and you may be thinking 'What's wrong with Disco/Country/doof-doof?' Well, it's all a matter of taste. And you don't need taste to like Country!

Whenever I hear the strained voice of a country singer, my insides clench, my brain tries to shut down and I look for an escape route. It's even worse when the singer is Australian and the sound coming out of his mouth is fake American.

Now, I will admit that some country songs have pretty good lyrics, praising love, faithfulness and a good dog, its just they sound like they are being sung by a constipated clothes wringer. Yet country music still evokes many of the backwoods, uncultured and uncouth sides of life, where the men are unwashed yokels, and the women are hard done by slaves. 

So I figured the best way for me to express what country music brings to my mind was to write a country song. And if you like it, feel free to sing it. If you don't like it, remember its satire :)

Ten Gallon Hat.

All lyrics by Greg Carrick:

I'm a simple country bumkin,
The banjo I did learn,
I play all kinds of musics
Both Country and Western.
yeah I'm Country
Yeehah, I'm Country

chorus:
    Got a 10 gallon hat on my 1 gallon head,
    I had a lobotomy,
    I go boot scootin' every night,
    I'm proud to be country.

I got me a hoss, I got me a dog,
I married me a girl,
her name was Tiffany Moonbeam
but I just call her Merle
yeah I'm Country
Yeehah, I'm Country

chorus

I grew up in a trailer park
Got a gun rack in my truck,
I'd bulldoze all those greenies,
cos I don't give a stuff.
yeah I'm Country
Yeehah, I'm Country

chorus

I drink my moonshine whisky
That I make in my still,
I drink it by the gallon,
but 1/2 a pint's my fill.
yeah I'm Country
Yeehah, I'm Country

chorus

I hang around the pool hall,
In my check shirt and my boots,
I hang out with the good old boys,
We get back to our roots.
yeah I'm Country
Yeehah, I'm Country

chorus

I beat up on my woman
Just like my old Papa
She's black and blue and pregnant too
Just like my dear old Ma.
yeah I'm Country
Yeehah, I'm Country

chorus

I drink up lots of bundy
And I'm drivin' me a tank,
I'm ashamed to be an Aussie
Cos I'd rather be a Yank
yeah I'm Country
Yeehah, I'm Country

chorus